'Talking up a storm'

James in his own words

I’ve had several conversations with James Williams since I met him at last October’s Self-Determination Conference. Every time I speak with him, I’m always struck by the thought he puts into his answers to my questions. It’s a thoroughness that comes through in conversations, in his presentations at various conferences, and in his writings.

Here’s how he answered the five questions I typically ask the people I feature in my newsletters.

‘Unconditional and stable friendship’

Question: What is your favorite way to spend time with the people you love, and who are those people?

James’ answer: The people I love the most are my parents and friends. With my parents, I usually enjoy sitting and talking with them. We also engage in other activities based on interest and ability. My father has always enjoyed traveling, and I inherited my own love of travel from him.

Since many of my friends are also autistic and have different abilities and skills and also have unique struggles, I tend to engage in activities that they enjoy and are within their abilities. Because autistic people may enjoy things that are beyond the abilities of other autistic people, it is common for an autistic person to suggest an activity with an autistic friend that they may not be capable of participating in, either due to safety or disability reasons. This can lead to an awkward situation wherein an autistic person, with no intent of upsetting their friend, can suggest an activity that can terrify their friend because of their different ability, who will have to tell their friend that they can’t participate because of those limitations.

Autistic people are usually aware of limitation differences between each other, and routinely make social agreements with their friends to prevent this situation from happening. This typically involves autistic friends talking about their limitations and abilities, and usually, when one person is deemed needing more support than the other, one friend will adjust to the other and will typically only engage in activities within the ability of their friend, in return for unconditional and stable friendship.

Autistic people often feel this is a mutual exchange since most autistic people have endured surprise rejection from people they thought were their friends.

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‘A deep sense of compassion’

Question: What is the most enduring interest, hobby, or passion that you’ve enjoyed throughout your life?

James’ answer: Public speaking, writing, and performing. And understanding the issues of autism, including the more sensitive and lesser common issues.

I learned how to read and write before I could fluently speak as a child, and I have always enjoyed writing. I was not fully verbal with language until the age of 6, but developed a fascination with the alphabet since the age of 2. I learned how to “sight read” between the ages of 3 and 4, and learned how to type when I was 5 years old. Although I had some language starting between age 3 and 4 and both reading and speaking involve “speech,” there are distinct differences. I am now the author or co-author of 8 books.