'My deepest bids for connection'

Understanding oneself through special interests. And finding friends.

Pip Buffington performs in a Pink Umbrella Theater production. Photo Credit: Pink Umbrella Theater

Today I’d like to talk about Tim Curry. Also The Phantom of the Opera. Oh, and Frankenstein.

But mostly Pip Buffington, whom I met when I wrote about Pink Umbrella Theater. When I decided to dedicate this month’s newsletter series to neurodivergent people and their special interests, I immediately thought of Pip, who, in our conversations, had shared a number of special interests with me — The Muppets, musical theater, classic literature, and parenting.

One thing I remember them telling me is that, although they have many special interests and hyperfixations, they’re all united by a special interest in research.

Back in May, they told me, “Everything I do, I kind of make a study of. I like facts and collect facts in my head.”

When I recently had another conversation with Pip about their special interests, they clarified that it isn’t just research they’re drawn to. There has to be something that sparks an interest in the topic in the first place, something that’s fascinating enough to them that spending hours of time dedicated to it will be exciting.

“There’s usually some sort of spark that gets me interested in something, and then the research happens later,” Pip said. “But then again, sometimes the research doesn’t always happen.

“For example, the first special interest I remember having was the movie, FernGully: The Last Rainforest, when I was 3. And back then, it was about memorization. I just wanted to watch it over and over again to learn every line and to learn everything there was to learn about it.

“I guess that was a type of research for a 3-year-old.”

Looking back, Pip understands that a big reason they were so drawn to memorizing every line of the movie was that they were using those lines to learn to have conversations with other people — something that doesn’t come naturally to Pip.

That too — looking back at experiences in their life, to find the patterns, to understand their reason for interacting with the world in the way they did — has become a special interest for Pip. Since they weren’t diagnosed with autism until they were an adult, Pip is deconstructing their life to figure things out.

“I call them the puzzle pieces of my life,” Pip said. “Finding them, and putting them together to make the full picture of who I am.”

‘I wanted to be a part of it:’ A desire for human connection

Back when 3-year-old Pip was watching FernGully over and over and over, they related strongly not to the protagonist of the movie, Crysta, but to Batty Koda — a bat, voiced by Robin Williams, who had become manic because he had been experimented on by humans. And that would start a pattern throughout Pip’s life as they “collected” characters they related to — the character who was different, who was outcast, who didn’t fit, but who was searching for people to form relationships with, people to understand who they were.